ADHD Interrupting: Not rude

It’s a known fact that ADHD has a strong effect on interpersonal communication skills. This effect can show up in ways like missing conversation details, impulsively changing the subject, talking excessively, and interrupting others. Unfortunately, Neurotypicals that don’t possess extensive knowledge of ADHD judge these behaviors as rudeness, which is a complete misconception.

Interrupting, specifically, is the result of individuals with ADHD not wanting to forget their talking point before they have a chance to verbalize it. The continuous evolution of a conversation can make it hard for the ADHD brain to retain the information they want to add until it’s their turn to speak. Thus, interrupting feels like the only viable option. Out of all of the repercussions that ADHD has on communication, interrupting often has the most significant effect on relationships. This is likely due to how ingrained the idea that “interrupting is rude” is into society.

Interrupting, or rather not interrupting, can also lead to other communication issues. Typically when you’re trying not to interrupt, you stop listening to the conversation. Your sole focus is on remembering what you wanted to say and trying to figure out when to speak finally. To be clear, neither the inattentiveness nor urge to cut off someone else comes from rudeness, lack of respect, or valuing your ideas over others. The ADHD brain is simply wired differently. What’s rude to others is just a standard communication style to someone with executive dysfunction.

While we’ve established that interrupting from an ADHD perspective isn’t rude, there are ways to regulate how often it happens. The people closest to you should be fully aware of your innocent intent, but strangers and people you’re trying to build relationships might not be. If you find yourself in a situation where you want to control your impulsive urges, try to keep the following thing in mind:

1. Be aware of it.

Try to count how many times you interrupt in a given situation. Then set realistic goals accordingly. For instance, if you counted six interruptions, aim for just three in your following conversation. 

2. Breathe.

Sometimes the secret to not interrupting is to slow down and breathe. Deep breaths can ground you and keep you present in the conversation.

3. Be Honest.

You can always own up to the interruption. Simply say, “I’m sorry, but I have to interrupt and say this before I forget….” That way, the person is prepared to be interrupted, and you can get out what you need to say and focus on the current conversation.